Aloha, Meaning Hello and Goodbye

Quickly, I am thankful for the few of you who’ve been gracious enough to follow me on this blog. However, after a couple of weeks of deliberation, I will be deleting it for several reasons. First, I was largely enamored with the functionality of WordPress, but then my original blog, www.homeschoolblogger.com/bbullard, contained a WordPress-like dashboard. Though I’m still learning its nuances, it seems equal to this format in terms of convenience and certain features that intrigued me originally. Secondly (but perhaps most importantly), I want to be a good steward of my time, and it occurs to me that two blogs are not a good use of my time. Though I started this blog with the distinct purpose of penning my non-homeschool related thoughts, I realized that I can use the new-and-improved blog to do something different and free myself up for the priorities in my life–my Lord, my family, my work, and myself.

Again, many thanks for your visits here and may God bless you. If you are a subscriber to both my blogs, you might see dual posts for a minute while I transition a few posts over that I want to keep. Enjoy the day.

Making the Most of It, Whatever It Is

 

 

‘The thing is, when we do something again and again, it leaves an impression in the physical tissue of our brain. The more this impression is repeated, the easier it is to do the same thing again the next time…This is how habit works, whether it’s doing deeds of kindness, or playing the piano. Both take practice. That’s why it’s so important not to miss even one opportunity to do the things we intend to do, and to do our best at them. Don’t believe that something is as good as done when you’ve made a resolution to do it. It isn’t done until you follow through and do it.’

 

 

Charlotte Mason, Ourselves, pg. 208

God in the Dance

 

 

I talked about identity and passion in my last post, but I had a real-time opportunity to learn more about trust.

 

We have, for years now, enrolled our children in a dance program close to home. I shared on my other blog (see here) that the center is not marketed as a Christian center, but the instructors are Christian—or I should say more specifically, I know that they are church goers. Though it’s not my idea of a picture-perfect environment for us, the benefits of being there far outweigh what I’ve seen as disadvantages thus far. At least, that’s what I thought until this week.

 

This is an exciting time for everyone at the dance center. Costumes are arriving, and the final numbers are coming together. The place simply buzzes with anticipation, and our kids are no different than anyone else’s. They came home modeling costume after costume (they dance a combined 18 times!), and we all enjoyed the fashion show. Then came the turning tide when our oldest daughter began to talk about the conversation over the advanced jazz costume, a simple black cropped pair of pants with a black button-down shirt. The problem is that the instructor decided that the girls’ shirts should be half unbuttoned, baring midriffs. Though I’m not as conservative as some about the kids’ dress, we don’t do bare midriffs around here. Moreover, I didn’t appreciate the instructor telling the girls—14 and 15 years of age (with my 11-year-old son in the room)—that it “looked hot” that way. The salt in the open wound was that, when my oldest immediately voiced her concern, saying that “my mom will not go for this,” the instructor belittled the concern, stating that the girls need to grow comfortable with their bodies.

 

To say the least, I was livid. The mom in me wanted to call immediately and raise Hades, but the instructor had left the kids with “tell your parents not to call me while I think about it and make a decision next week.” It didn’t help that my husband and I were at different places with this. I was disgusted by what I saw as a direct attack on the values we try to instill in our children; he was torn somewhere between thinking I’m too protective and wanting to not risk straying from what’s conventional. Walking alone is tough, but my spirit absolutely would not rest. Okay, I thought, I’ll give her chance, and more importantly, this gave me a chance to pray. Reflecting back on this whole incident, it’s amazing how prayer becomes the thing we do after we’ve exhausted our natural resources.

 

I spent all of Thursday obsessed with this scenario, knowing that my next encounter with this same instructor would be late Friday afternoon. My imagination had walked miles, from going 15 rounds with the instructor and/ or the school’s owner, to leaving the program, to writing letters to some child advocacy group, to…The more I thought, the madder I got. But each time I grew angry, I remembered one thing: the Lord will perfect all things concerning me. So I talked to God about it—over and over and over. Admittedly, the thought of this encounter overshadowed everything else going on in my life. When the youngest awoke with a swollen eyelid, I agreed with her in prayer that the Lord would heal her, but I spent the day consumed with what might happen. God, I know I have the victory, but what will be the path?

 

Something else happened as I began to pray. I realized that not only was this a chance for God to show up on my behalf, but it was also a chance to minister. So my anger gave way, at least in part, to grace and mercy. There’s a point that I needed to make, but I also wanted to leave her with something to think about. I began to pray about words—words that pierce, words that resonate, words that move. So a significant portion of my mental energy was spent crafting my words. How do I state my convictions and yet not crush someone else’s spirit? How do I lift up Jesus without putting her down?

 

When the time came to go to practice, everything that could go wrong did. Our children were late, and the young lady who catches a ride with us ran even later. I was still searching for words, and seeking wisdom on whether to use them at all (another revelation that came through prayer), as I drove. She said to give her a week; I wanted to give the Lord a week. Besides, I know my tongue would have cut like a knife. I couldn’t help that piercing stare, though; it just wouldn’t leave. When I saw her, and we spoke politely, as if nothing’s wrong (minus my stare–grrrrr). I kept thinking, why don’t you say something? But I’m learning each day to trust God more and more, so miraculously enough, I just spoke and otherwise kept my mouth shut.

 

As a related digression, my oldest is the team captain for the group, and a part of her responsibility is to lead the group’s stretches and warm-up activities. Though normally the instructor selects the music, my daughter will sometimes bring her own selections to accompany the kids’ stretching. Like me, her musical tastes are eclectic. Yet today, ironically enough, she chose to warm up to the upbeat, soulful inspiration of gospel artists Mary, Mary. I love how God insists on being glorified. I rejoiced even more when I heard the instructor play the same tunes for her second class; apparently she enjoyed what she heard, too.

 

So, at the end of the day, how’d this bare midriff fiasco turn out? Well, my daughter was perusing through a brand-new list of costuming details (for lack of a better word)—how to wear your hair, what color tights, hats, gloves, etc. When she saw the jazz dance requirements, she turned to me and said, “Look, Mom. It says I can wear my leotard up under the shirt.” I moved to see it for myself, and I simply hugged my daughter and said, “Look at God.” I’m still looking, and all I can say is, “Wow.”

The Passionate Teacher

 ‘Good teaching cannot be reduced to techniques; good teaching comes from the identity and the integrity of the teacher.’

                                                        Joe Briseno

 

For the last two months, I’ve been preparing materials for a Bible study, “Communicating the Gospel in a Post-Modern World.” The story of how we became a part of this preparation is hilarious, but watching the full vision unfold has been nothing less than marvelous. To appreciate the unlikeliness of our paths crossing with this associate pastor’s plans, you’d have to understand several things about the nature of our church:

 
 

1. The church has 3000+members. We have five services between Saturday night and Sunday afternoon.
   
2. Though large in membership, our church still operates as a very small church.
   
3. #2 means that there are behaviors of the church community as a whole that tend to stifle the body:
   
   1. New members don’t always have a place to fit in and feel welcomed.
      
   2. There is a clique among the “old heads” such that if you’re not known, you often don’t get asked to help.
      
   3. Being known and serving means being determined enough to push past all of these dynamics and find your place.
      

 
 

I’ll fast-forward through our own experiences in navigating these waters, and instead focus on this opportunity, which couldn’t have come in a more unorthodox fashion. We were attending a basketball game with our 1^st grader cheering, when one of our pastors, whose gregarious personality is the only feature that dwarfs his over-sized frame, asked us, “Why don’t you ever invite me over to your house?” My husband and I were both taken back by the thought of someone inviting themselves to dinner, but what do you do besides extend an invitation? And I’ll admit, this pastor has been such a blessing and a pure joy to us that I wish he’d invited himself sooner (smile).

 
 

I’m humbled that I’ve been able to help him, but I also realize how much the preparation has helped me. Through learning what it takes to communicate the gospel in these times, I’ve been blessed with a rich word in what it takes to educate our children at home.

 
 

My mil, a public school teacher for decades now, sometimes vents her frustrations with some newer teachers beginning careers in education. “They don’t have a calling to teach. It’s just a job for them.” Obviously, as ones who are not paid to educate, a paycheck won’t drive us. Passion must urge us on—not necessarily a passion to teach, but a passion to produce fruit in our kids. The supplies, the flash cards, the computer, and yes, even the curriculum are all tools and techniques to use until the teacher—me, you–shows up. And though the goal is independence and self-sufficiency, the teacher must still show up. We must show up to direct, to train, to encourage, and every so often, to correct. We must show up, if only to role model adulthood for our young adults.

 
 

So the question becomes not how we teach, but how do we awaken the teacher within us?

 
 

The answer is first to know who we are.   Life is our teacher, and a great one at that. It’s why we can teach some areas well and why we struggle with other areas—we’ve been there. Experience determines what we view as important enough to pass on to future generations, as well as what isn’t as high a priority. It allows us to walk in authority and confidence in some places, and to be humble enough to admit that we need help in others.

 
 

Scripture tells us that the Holy Spirit will bring to our remembrance all things seen and heard. Our task, therefore, is to be good students. We must be aware of what gets into our subconscious, and what tests build our intuition. Life processes itself through these areas, and we need to be sensitive. We need to be students ourselves—of our spiritual gifts, of skills and talents we have, and of those that have yet to come. We need to take notes along our journey; God’s been too good to us in whatever He’s taught us for us to waste our memories. Our teaching then, becomes an outpouring of our lives—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Whatever colors, fabrics, and textures the Lord has allowed into our own personal rug, we use it. That way, our children will produce fruit and prayerfully not make the mistakes that we made. They will change this world—just by being in it.

Time to Worship

 

Where do you find time to worship?

I don’t write this as a way of saying that it is impossible to find the time, but instead to question where are you positioned when you make the time to worship.

As a Christian woman who has spent most of my life in church (minus some wayward college years), I’ve heard the Biblical account of Martha and Mary, found in Luke 10:38-42, many times. I have often heard of how Martha was too pre-occupied with her responsibilities, perhaps even consumed with self-importance and self-worth, and her misplaced priorities almost cost her the one thing that was needful. Mary, on the other hand, sat at Jesus’ feet, fully attentive and putting aside the work that needed to be completed. Having focused in on the differences of their activities, I made judgment calls about Martha and Mary. Martha was bad; Mary was good. Too simplistic, I now realize, but as a baby Christian, it helped me appreciate the need to put Christ before everything else.

It’s been fairly recently that I’ve come to deeper revelations about these sweet sisters in Christ. Martha wasn’t “bad.” We never read that she had no heart for God; scripture says that she was the one who originally invited Jesus into their home. She was like me, and perhaps like some of you, with much on her plate and, with love in her heart for Jesus, trying to make it all happen. I’d love to just sit at the feet of Jesus, although in truth, it is not in my nature to sit without busying my hands. However, on any given day, I am challenged with balance. I could do any of the following with the hours given me, and keep in mind that most of these items are big categories with a number of sub-lists underneath:

• Read
  
• Complete work-related activities (grading, more reading/researching, dialoguing online)
  
• Perform housework
  
• Blog (including catch-up on blogs of others)
  
• Write/ improve the curriculum materials for the business
  
• Work with/ school with/ play with the children
  
• Exercise
  
• Garden
  
• Work on teaching/ training materials for church
  
• Write or call friends
  
• Prepare meals for the family
  
• Spend time helping/loving my husband
  

 

You get the point. And here’s the proverbial “kicker:” none of them are bad things to do; in fact, I could make a case for why any one of them is needful–at least, in my life. Believe it or not, a Mary-ish posture isn’t one to emulate all day, either. As one of our pastor’s wives once observed, sitting all day, for any reason, can usher in a spirit of laziness, and there are things that have to get done. The Bible tells us, in fact, that having faith without works is dead. At some point, we have to do, to operate on what we’ve sat long enough to hear. Sometimes we bite off too much, and try to do everything in the name of serving God and/or family. But learning to say “no” and discovering our purpose are at least two separate posts altogether. So the question becomes, once we’ve pared our activities down to what we know are aligned with our purpose, how do we accomplish what we honestly feel is our purpose, but also give God priority in our lives? How do we internalize the best of both Mary and Martha?

As I said before, to sit would be lovely. But there are some realities of being a work-out-of-my-home, stay-at-home, homeschooling parent:

1. I’m rarely alone.
   
2. I fall into the vicious cycle of staying up too late, so I can’t get up as early, so I’m feeling behind all day, so I stay up too late, and so on, and so on.
   
3. There is always something that needs doing.
   

 

I can see Martha in me so very clearly. But I’ve also been graced to receive solid teaching in this area from more seasoned moms and saints in Christ about how to place God first and still get things done.

Give God your first thoughts. Christian beauty expert Shelly Ballestero suggests that women spend an additional 10 minutes before arising with their heads elevated against a pillow. According to her, this helps relieve any swelling and puffiness under the eyes. While you’re resting and “putting on your face” in the process, why not tell the Lord you love Him, and that you’re thankful for this day, and that He’s the best thing that ever happened to you? Also keep in mind that first thoughts don’t have to occur at the point of seeing the sun rise. Middle-of-the-night worship can be far more soothing than counting sheep.

Give God your frequent thoughts. Just a few days ago, I was engaged in the sweetest worship. Although I was alone for a moment, it wasn’t in my prayer closet, and I wasn’t at church. I was in our garden.

 

All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing praise to your name. Psalm 66:4

 

 

Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. Song of Solomon 2:12

 

 

 

(Alright, I confess that these pictures are from last year–smile). I was planting tree stakes, and with my MP-4 player in my ears and enjoying the greenery, I felt God’s presence. Worship can occur anywhere. Another place I love to worship is while driving in my car. God can do more to refreshen and reshape my thinking in my 15 minutes to the drug store, or even my 5 minutes around the corner! The point is to acknowledge Him every time you think about Him. And the beauty of our Lord is that there’s such power in His name until, if you don’t have anything else to say, just say Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Oh, how precious is the name of Jesus.

 

 

Give God your final thoughts. Data suggests that millions of thoughts go through our heads in a day. What goes through your mind at night? Wouldn’t it be sweet to end our days with a love song to the Father? Thank Him for the day. Thank Him for the weather—wind, rain, sun, and snow all have a purpose—and for allowing you to be safe within it. So many aren’t. Thank Him that whatever He sent your way is for your good, even if you don’t see it right now. Most importantly, just praise Him for being who He is, and for choosing you even before you chose Him.

If you have opportunity to just sit at His feet, that’s wonderful. I don’t mean to belittle that time, because it is critical. But my post is for those who might otherwise fall victim to Satan’s lie that something is wrong with their walk because they don’t have hours to simply sit alone and communicate with the Father. There is no wrong time to worship. And I love that line from recording artist John P. Key’s song that says ‘There’s only two times to praise Him: when I feel like it and when I don’t.’ God is monitoring our hearts, and He will honor our praise and prayer without ceasing just as He will honor those who can lay prostrate for four hours.

Immediately as I wrote this, I thought, I’m missing fervency. Worshipping and
praying with intensity and a determination to get into God’s presence is important, but let’s begin with the commitment to just put some Mary-like posture in our Martha-like world, Amen? God bless you.

2010-11 Reading Plans

‘The study of great books allows the past to speak for itself, combining history, creative writing, philosophy, politics, and ethics into a seamless whole. The goal…is a greater understanding of our own civilization, country, and place in time, stemming from an understanding of what has come before us…The goal of classical education is not an exhaustive exploration of great literature. The student with a well-trained mind continues to read, think, and analyze long after classes have ended.’

Susan Wise Bauer, pg. 473

We are in the process of wrapping up this year’s ancient history studies, and I have learned as much or more about this period of history as my teen. What have I learned?

• Reading great books is difficult, but not impossible. At minimum, it takes a commitment to gain something from what you’re reading, even if that commitment is not accompanied by genuine interest.
  
• Names like Plato and Homer shouldn’t intimidate you; learning about them before reading their books allows you to be more comfortable with what you are reading.
  
• Tools like Sparknotes and books like An Invitation to the Classics (an invaluable resource, giving brief but easily understandable information on authors and describing their books in context) can be marvelous helps, but they will never fully convey the emotion of the author.
  
• Living books don’t need accompanying textbooks to “fill in blanks;” by studying people in the context of their surroundings, your child can fill in any blanks regarding events, customs, and culture.
  

However,

• You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. And a mule won’t even allow itself to be lead. Enough said.
  

 

One last thing I’ve learned. Audiobooks are my new BFF. So, having almost completed this year’s work, I’ve begun to think about reading plans for next year for all three kids, but primarily for the oldest. I’m sure this is a function of what I’m least comfortable laying out. Last year, I spent most of the summer preparing a syllabus of sorts to help her get accustomed to reading through one. Though a number of my homeschooling friends have benefited from it, I can safely say that she would have been just as contented to figure it out as she goes. This is one of many differences in our personalities: I plan ahead, but my oldest gets a lot done on last-minute adrenalin. God is gracious enough that only a few of my hairs have turned grey (smile).

So, in spite of a few horse and mule days, this is our proposed read-aloud/ together list for high school, 2010-2011:

Julius Ceasar

Virgil’s Aeneid (audiobook)

The City of God (audiobook)

How the Irish Saved Civilization

Beowulf (audiobook)

The Song of Roland

The Magna Carta (?)

Dante’ Inferno (audiobook)

Canterbury Tales

The Prince

 

Somewhere along the way, we will also spend some time with Japanese haiku, and cover via the Compact Book of World Religions Islamic beliefs. Ambitious? You bet. I’m still determining what will make the final list, and of course, the list on paper may or may not match what we actually get done. As I embrace this particular passage of Ms. Bauer’s, I am comfortable that even if we don’t cover all the books in the curriculum, we will work to understand the period and how it relates to where we are.

We also have “free” reading. In our home, these are books that don’t have any follow-up assignments attached to them, nor is the reading graded in any way; the children read them to me. They are my selections for them, but they are intended to be both educational and entertaining. Free reading also gives us the opportunity to add in books that are written from a different perspective than Western Hemisphere and European. Again, this is a first cut, and subject to change several times before it’s put into action (and a few times afterward!)

 

The Sumarai by Shusako Endo

Ashaki, African Princess by Patricia Weaver

The Life of Alexander the Great by Plutarch (audiobook)

Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World by Jack Weatherford

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson (audiobook)

Hamlet

 

My younger two will be much easier to plan for, thankfully. We’ve hit a sweet spot where we have the publishers that work for us, and all we have to do is pass down what we’ve bought already and/or make minimal purchases to complement something that’s been consumed . I’m pretty sure that our son will use selections from Sonlight’s History of God’s Kingdom. Interestingly enough, several of the books are in my possession already from the teen’s studies this year, so there’s my head start on purchases.

Speaking of a head start, I shared previously that I’d probably go with Sonlight’s 2^nd grade readers for the youngest. In comparing our bookshelves to the newest catalog, I found these:

 

 

I was happy to not have to spend as much on books. In fact, from a cursory look at next year, it looks like I will only have to buy Apologia’s chemistry text, Horizons Math, and Teaching Textbooks Geometry! Now of course, these three resources will run me upwards of $200, and that’s the not-so-good news. Anyway, I do love that a plan is coming together.

Boys to Men

 I so enjoyed reading Kerimae’s post on the relationship between a father and his son. There is something so special about watching a man speak into another man’s life, and with all due respect to the number of very special single mothers in my life, I consider myself very blessed. Our pastor shared with us recently that statistics suggest that when a woman leads her children to church, chances are slightly over 50% that the children will continue to attend church as adults. When a man takes his family to church, chances of the children continuing to attend as adults increase to about 97%. Amazing.

The men in my life—namely, my husband and son—attended our church’s annual boys’ lock-in on this past weekend. They had a tremendous time of sharing, of caring, and mainly, of men pouring Godly wisdom and encouragement into the lives of men-to-be. I didn’t get that many pictures—at least not yet, but this was a special memory as our son will be too old after this year to attend.

 

 

  

 

 

 

As for the girls and I, we had a movie night here, and played their Mall Madness game. As someone who doesn’t slow down to play games often, I felt good about our girls’ night in. The game did get too long, though, and we wound up falling asleep in Mom and Dad’s bed—another special treat.

Whatever activities come your way, always cherish the time, my friends. It goes all too fast.

Introducing…

Me! Though my primary blog, to date, is http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/bbullard, I have been praying and flirting with the idea of having a WordPress blog for well over a year now. I cannot deny that since Word 2007 will “automatically” post to WordPress with a few clicks of a button, this seems like a natural step in my ongoing effort to be more efficient. We’ll see; in the meantime, I’ve taken the first step, and time will tell where this goes. In the meantime, you can see my profile to the right (I think), and enjoy a picture of three of my greatest blessings.