My Natural Hair Journey, Chapter 28: What to Tell Our Daughters?

It’s been a minute since I have posted a natural hair journey post.  In truth, there hasn’t been much to say.   I am at that season of discovery in which I learn what works and what doesn’t work for my very personalized head of hair.  This summer, with its record heat, has been a summer of micro-twists while living vicariously though my Pinterest board.
bbullard microtwists july 2014


I can truthfully say that though I am still not too flashy about style and style changes, through a simple day-by-day walk with the Father, I am reaching new levels of understanding about patience, faith, and grace.

Not too long ago, I came across an article entitled, “Is It Fair to Force My Anti-Relaxer Stance on My Daughter?” (see here).   The article stressed the pain of a chemical perm versus the perception—one that I once shared—that “perming” your hair was a rite of passage.    I, however, saw something completely different in the title.   Less the following thoughts be misconstrued as some New Age thinking, let me preface my words by saying this: the God of the Bible is first, last, and everything in the middle to me.

What is this whole natural hair movement, as currently presented, about?   Fashion? Fad? Flavor of the month? For some, maybe.   But I see scores of women learning to love and celebrate themselves past the misinformation that has been passed down through generations about what is beautiful.   I see us vehemently attacking words that undermine our sense of attractiveness, like “good” and “bad” hair (now if we could just get rid of the “N” word…).  I see bonding and sharing and learning, past our fears and insecurities.   I see sisters expressing their gifts through business development and counseling services.  And it’s beautiful.

I see men—our men—embracing looks that are unencumbered by gels, night caps, and processes.   I see young men who are learning to express themselves physically, naturally, without compromising who they are professionally.   I see a generation of men with the capacity to love themselves–the first step to loving others.   And it’s beautiful.

So this is a season of watching and waiting for me.   And as I move about the days, that level of understanding that I mentioned before is as simple as this:

Patience: If I care for it, it will be healthy, and to the extent that God allows, it will grow.

Faith: God is doing a work in me, even in this transition.   More than that, He is using me to minister to others.   I praise Him for that.

Grace: My hair has its own mind; it is affected by many factors.  As I learn to live and accept me—even on the worst hair days, I can learn to appreciate the imperfections of others.


What will I tell our daughters about natural versus relaxed hair?   I will speak of my own journey of patience, faith, and grace. I will speak to them about confidence and vision and purpose.  I will tell them that the Lord made them beautiful–in His own image.   And yes, those values are absolutely worth teaching—with diligence.



4 thoughts on “My Natural Hair Journey, Chapter 28: What to Tell Our Daughters?

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