After writing my last blog post, the truth is that I spent much of the rest of June in a fog. It has been years–decades, even– since I had to wake up consistently at 5 a.m. As if that were not enough, my sleep cycle has been increasingly wonky; I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow, then I am awake for hours in the middle of the night. Right before my alarm goes off, I fall into a deep sleep. Oi, vei.
So it took the holiday weekend for me to rest, to regroup, and to collect my thoughts. Now I feel as if I can freely tackle the items on my summer to-do list–with about 7 weeks left. There is much to write and to research, and I have continued with my own reading–both for business and for pleasure. Finally, the youngest and I spend about an hour per day with our family’s version of “summer school” while our son has had his busiest schedule yet. He has a two-week break before he leaves for an extended missions trip.
While our son has had so many successes this summer, the youngest has run into disappointment after disappointment; it has simply not been her time. And having to console tears is perhaps one of the hardest jobs a parent has to do. It occurs to me in this time how much our children watch us, and how we teach them their first lessons about responding to the “no” answers of God.
My husband and I talk often about the day when hugs and kisses were no longer desirable responses to hurts and disappointments. We didn’t get that memo, and it can be difficult to push past resistance and do what feels right as a parent–to embrace your children and love on them in spite of themselves. That is our Father’s love for us. He also encourages us through His Word:
Ephesians 3:20–Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
Jeremiah 29:11–For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Romans 8:28–And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Those were my words. I wish I knew that they fell on good, fertile soil, but of course as parents (and planters), we do not always see fruit blossom in the moment. Our job is to continue to pour into our kids, and to leave seed growth and development to God.
Dad and big brother decided that it would be a great time to take in a movie, helping the healing process in more practical ways.
The good news is that, if nothing else, the youngest is resilient and determined. I just want her to learn the lesson that, admittedly, I am still trying to understand myself: when life does not go as I want, I do not have to worry about trying to be strong. He is.
‘ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’ 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10